The other day, i missed you so badly i was about to send you a message but something stopped me. It was probably fear, i fear that you no longer care that much & would not even bother to type a single word of response. I fear i might seem like the type of girl who runs after boys. Sometimes i hated myself for having a boy best friend, i wish i had chosen a girl. Girls maybe plastic and such but girls best friend are never awkward with each other. You & I are awkward. And so our friendship fell into a tragic crash. But when i look back at the good times we had , i could not even remember why i’m supposed to regret ever having you as my friend. We were happy and crazy back then. Now we’re weird, awkward, strangers and it’s kinda okay. People come & go, though i wished we stayed a bit longer for each other.
Truth is we all wanted and needed someone to stay. Someone who’ll laugh with you, cry with you, sing with you and even just breathe with you. There are those nights when sadness and pain gets the upper hand and having someone by your side makes you hope that , indeed someday soon, sometime later it will be just alright.
And then so i think of you.
i think of all the people in the world who needs that someone.
And then so i think of everyone who suffers and decided to end it.
If only you and i would stay, someone might have hopes that someday soon, sometime later it will be just alright.
Hey, it’s been so long since i last thought of you and cried. But each and every night i still remember a glimpse of you… a tiny bit glimpse of the past.
I am happy just as you are happy. You told me that you are in love, and i know that being in love is so awesome, cause it was like that when i had loved you.
I never thought that i’d be able to write you with so much joy, for the first time ever i can truly say that i am happy for you. I always said that before, it was true, but i was hurting also for myself. Now we’re equal.
There’s just one thing i wish for you & me, that we would not forget how our friendship started and how we have grown together through the years. We weren’t successful when it came to love, but we had one of the coolest frienndship ever. And for that i thank the Lord that i have met you.
No matter how crazy things went, no matter how coward we acted, no matter how many words were left unsaid and no matter how awkward it has ended, i am glad that you have been a huge part of my life & dreams.
We will age, we will have our own families, we’ll have the jobs that we dreamed of, we might even lose communication, we might live across different continents, but one thing’s for sure: each & every night i’ll always utter your name as i pray, and when i do i will remember that little glimpse of you.
The one who will not forget
I miss you today, i never thought i’d still miss you after a long time of trying to go on ahead in life without you. And i found myself looking back again, to those little memories i really treasure , for they are one of my priceless possessions.
I am not hurting but i’m longing for you my dear friend. I wish you can just appear right beside me , and just say you’re okay and you’re happy. But it doesn’t work that way.
But i know for sure that i will grow old and still remember every detail of your beautiful face, ages will pass but i’ll still recognize your voice, the way you sing, the way you laugh , the way you bring life to empty words. I’d even remember how you would look up in the sky and say you don’t see any beauty but i will always say that the sky is wonderful just as we all are, Just as you and i are when we’re together.
You don’t have to say such things. You don’t have to sound cool for anyone to love you. Well for me, i love you even without all the cool stuff you put up for yourself. I love you the way you are, simple, happy, wise and caring. That’s who you are to me.
But i guess you already know that i love you so you seek other people’s acceptance, you seek the affection of this society, and so you indulge yourself with the pressure but you end up being not yourself. You don’t have to say you do this and do that when you really don’t, you don’t have to pretend you watch this and listen to that when in fact it disgusts you, you don’t have to make all the girls like you or love you, and you don’t have to sin just because when you do the world approves of you.
I believe in the goodness of your heart. I believe in your dreams of a healthy and successful life. A life lived surrounded by the people you really love, and a life lived in constant challenge and victories.
You are young and you can do anything. You have the talent in your hands, in your heart and in your mind. You have the ideas that can affect everyone in a good way. You are beautiful, you are strong and you will always be until the end of days.
Please do not make it hard for yourself, please avoid these vices, for you might end up in your death bed at such an early age. For you might end up destroying the relationship you have with you future spouse and your children. Please set yourself free from all your insecurities, and know that God loves you and only he can satisfy you. Please listen and take this into your heart until there is time for you.
Go and look within yourself and see that there is goodness lying underneath the layers of all the lies, and all the wickedness , that you thought was really you. You are good, you are kind and wonderful.
When you are seconds away from your last breath you’d probably wanna die being who you really are and you probably wanna know where you are gonna go.
With much love,
Well i never thought i’d reach this certain level of happiness since you and i grew apart. And i gotta tell you it’s so amazing. I mean its amazing how i can now sleep at night and not break my heart a little more every time.
Now when i think of you, i’m happy. I hear the laughter ,i hear ’ i love you-s’, i hear little funny insults, & i hear whispers. And i also see beautiful smiles, i see lovely strands of hair, i see stars, and i see sparkles. And i feel cold hands, i feel excitement, and i feel everything else.
But all these are nothing but good memories, and they don’t make me hurt, i don’t hurt for you anymore. But i am filled with this incredible joy, i’m just so glad to have those moments with you my dear friend. I am blessed to have met a wonderfully weird human being.
We can’t go back and change all the bad memories. I wish we could have said everything that needed to be said. But i’m okay now, i think we’re better of this way , do you? Well, you’ve gone so far even before i was able to take one step forward. So i think you know that.
You will never understand why it was so hard for me to let every bit of you go. But now i am flooded with peace, knowing that i finally was able to let you go after a long hard battle. I found you, and i lost you. I held you, and i loved you.
I asked God to take care of you. i will continue to pray for you.
I think i’m getting better now. Getting further away. And it feels so good to finally know that life really goes on, even without you. But sometimes when i try to sleep you still find me and seeing your face makes me restless. But i’ll learn to get over that too.
I wish i could go back time when i could have said the right words. I should have never hurt you like that so you wouldn’t hurt me that way too. I just want our friendship back. Nothing more than that. just me and you, just friends.
i never thought that you were actually just like me when it comes to this. there were a lot of messages i could have read but you managed to erase them all before i read them, because you are coward just like me.
Now i know, i read some, because you weren’t able to take it away from me forever, because your messages left traces & marks.
Now i wonder, what could have happened if i sent you my letters and you didn’t delete all your messages for me.
probably won’t change a thing.
Perhaps, i will never consider such things, because i believe in you. Because i dont want to be like you. Because i wouldn’t let go the way you did. Because after all im still your friend.
These are the moments when you expect your friends to be there for you,and they aren’t. These are the moments when you struggle to find happiness in your own self, but you fail. These are the moments when you hope someone would understand, but they couldn’t just figure it out. These are the moments , you realize that you only got Jesus, and He is not letting go of you.
And sometimes you just want to tell all the people you thought were close to your heart “ why can’t you be here with me? when all along through your sadness and joy, i felt it, i felt the sting of your pain , i felt how it crushed you, and i felt your joy, and even felt the warmth of your smile, why can’t you feel me? why? “
Where are you?