How terrible my days become when i depart from Your life giving presence? How lonesome my nights are when i do not seek You? Remind me Lord , please remind me that all the life I’ll ever have is really in You.
A lot of times i forget to be grateful for who You are. I’ve been looking for Joy and Satisfaction in so many things my Lord, so many worldly things that i forget that i have all that i need and want in You. You are my all in all, the true love of my life, my true passion and hope is You.
When was the last time i wrote you? That was a pretty long time. How surprising. Lately i’ve been thinking about you, i was praying and hoping you are well. With all the things going on in this world, i pray you cling to hope, i pray you find what you’re looking for. I pray you can meet Jesus & be changed forever.
I will always regret the day i let you slip away without telling you that you need Jesus so badly. I thought i’ve done you enough good throughout our friendship, but the truth is i with held the only truest form of love i can give you, and that is sharing Christ with you. I remember a couple of years ago, when you said you wanted to be born again, and that you are so excited about it, that you actually kind of made the decision but when your parents knew they got mad at you. And that was the last time you ever told me about what’s going on with your faith.
And after that you shut off your mind. It felt like you don’t believe in anything or in anyone anymore, your concern revolved around the girl you so much loved ,video games, beer, and some other stupid things you do.
And ever since you left and we stopped talking i remember crying out to God, i wanted Him to intervene in your life in any way possible. I even prayed that you could come back, or he could restore the friendship we had so that i can talk to you about Jesus. I prayed long & Hard. But we grew further apart each & every single day. Guess i only had one chance and i completely blew it.
But i know God will make a way for you. Somewhere , someday you’ll find God and He will capture you.
Praying for you,
One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
I was reading the bible last night, and as i was reading this particular verse it suddenly hit me. It just hit me, made me feel guilty for ignoring this. For the past days i have spent more time doing mindless pursuits, i was so busy for such small things that aren’t important at all when it comes to just spending time & seeking God.
I was thinking , “Oh what beautiful adoration this is, to want to spend the rest of his days in God’s temple, just gazing at God’s beauty.” And so i thought that this is what most of us christians forget to do. We are all so busy about our own ministries, all busy about preaching & teaching, then we forget that at the end of the day it’s you & God, and your relationship is only between the two of you, and that relationship is far more important than all the other things in this world. Of course Jesus wants us to be at work, Jesus wants us to lay our hands on the sick, he wants us to preach, to do good, to move in his behalf. But He also wants us to stay still, to just go and seek Him, to be alone in his presence, and to shut off all the other distractions, just you & Him. Just me & You.
This must be the One thing that we seek, the One thing that we desire. The driving force that keeps us going, the thought that lingers in our heads, and the prize that we will wait for, just to be with him forever, and gaze at His glory!
“if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean”, he said.
Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him “I am willing”, he said, “Be healed”.
(Jesus is full of compassion, this scripture is so powerful)
My Ate Jacel decided to celebrate her 28th birthday by giving back something to the Lord. So instead of throwing off a party for herself & her friends, she decided to do a feeding program for the kids of 12th St ( a slum area). And i didn’t know God would teach me so much the moment i walked into that place.
The call time for us helpers was 9 am, and my niece/friend Jasmine really wanted me to be there. At first i told her i’m not really sure if i can go, i really was tired from the consecutive practices i’ve had for the week, i had choir,skit, & music practices and i just wanted to crash down and rest before i head to another practice later in the afternoon. But thanks to Jasmine’s determination, she managed to ask my sister to wake me up non stop, so i got up at around 8:45 am.
"There’s no backing out, anyway this is a good thing to do." But i didn’t have high expectations about the feeding, i’ve been there before, i experienced doing it quite a plenty of times. But this one really opened my eyes on How Jesus really wants us to be servants, and on How the little things we do makes an impact. So i got there around 9:30, and the kids were already singing Praise & worship songs they’re teachers were from our church too by the way, so i knew the people around. The moment i entered the place a kid whose name i didn’t know suddenly went hyper and greeted me with such huge smile as if we were close buddies. And his face was familiar i saw him first time the other day, he was dancing at the church, a new recruit for the Dance group. And so i greeted him back and went on to join my friends.
And as the kids were singing i couldn’t help but sing & act with them. "Man these songs i used to sing in sunday school". And i have to admit at first i really didn’t do my job, i was supposed to be helping the others prepare the food but i was so busy observing the Kids, giving them smiles whenever they look at me. And there was one boy who suddenly asked me "Nagpunta ka na ba sa Mayumi? (have you been to Mayumi?) and i said “Mayumi Bataan?ay sta. rita. oo ata, bakit? (Mayumi in bataan , Sta. rita. yes, i guess. Why?” and then he went on with his story. Apparently he was one of those kids who was once taken by DSWD cause they were asking for alms at the local market, and he said he remembered me because i once went there with other youths and gave them food, entertained them and gave them some toys & other stuffs also. He was seven at that time, right after we left he and his friends escaped the DSWD Home and went back to the slums.
And that happened around 4 years ago…and he remembered me, and he was seven that time.
I felt a sudden wow, i dont remember much memories around my 7th year of existence, and this kid remembered me. And i hear God and he said ” They remember you, because you did something good.” and i think that’s bound to last in his memory for a long time as well as the other kids who were present that day.
My little dancer friend then came back to me and started chatting with me, his name was Junkel. And i felt as if this kid loved me, for real. I mean kids really are expressive right? And so after a few games, we distributed them the food.
And as i was helping, God was working in my heart. "This is what Jesus would have done if he was here." "Jesus wouldn’t place any wall in between, he’d eat what they’d eat, sit where they’d sit and hug these kids even though they haven’t showered or anything." And that’s how it is really, in order to be a servant we must be humble, in order to be humble we must know how to lower ourselves, to reach out and love them as if they’re our kids.”
And so the program was finished and i thought there’d be no more surprises , then a girl suddenly went towards me and hugged me like she really missed me “Ate trisha!” she said. And again this girl i can’t even remember her name just her face, and i hugged her back and we talked , then the kid’s teacher happened to be her sister, who i know from church as well. Then her sister said "Ikaw pala yung pinagmamalaki nya" (So you’re the one she’s boasting about) and i suddenly thought “WHAT!?” what did i do that made this girl so proud and so happy to have met me?
Turns out she was one of those young people who attended the last youth service and i had a nice quick chat with her that time, she told me she loves my voice. And i thanked her.
You see here, i wasn’t even aware that those simple things would leave them something. I didn’t know what impact i make, and what impact Christ can make through me. So i was challenged to let Jesus live more and more each day through my life. And i encourage you to do so as well. In all my imperfections some people still see the good things i do and it stays with them. What more if we’ll allow Christ to take more control in our lives?
My God, take the wheel now. Give me the grace to be more Like Your Son , Jesus.
|—||Jesus (John 16:33)|
I have Jesus, i don’t lack a thing. I have all that i need, listen O soul ”you have all that you need.”
We are pressed down on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering , our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
God’s love is just so beyond measure! Last night i talked about having all these sorts of distraction & sin eating away my time, but i chose to run to God and acknowledge them all before Him , and asked for forgiveness. And God is faithful & just to forgive, i feel in my heart the joy & peace right after i had spent time with Him. And as for the newfound loves such as long boarding i know in my heart that it is a gift from Him, and He doesn’t want me to just give it up because its consuming my time, i believe He wants me to find the balance in these things. He wants me to enjoy life and be productive, he wants me to explore something new. But most of all He wants me to put Him first above all else.
I am so excited for what God has in store for us all. I can see Him turning these distractions of mine to things that will bring Him Glory.
I have asked for hunger & passion for Him & His word, and i pray that He will continue to strengthen me in Faith so that i can live for Him alone.
Thank You Jesus! Thank You!
A lot of different things occurred for the past days. Things that were both great & terrible. I got so many regrets on my list now, and again i wonder if i’ll be able to get back to the passionate one i was before.
I failed to seek God, and lack of time spent in knowing Him lead me to fall into sin easily. I lost focus of Him. There were so many happenings around me, so many new "hobbies" , so many newfound loves, restored relationships, and they are all a gift from God but they all turned out to eat away my time and my devotion, and no one can be blamed except me. Instead of reading & meditating on His word, i found myself researching so much about Long boarding, as it is now one of the things i like to do. Instead of talking w/ Him more, i found myself spending hours & hours chatting w/ friends.
There is no one to blame except me…
And this sin. I know i am no longer slave to sin, but why is this happening? why is it so easy to sin now?I think i know the answer, but it’s a matter of choice. Everyday is a battle, and i got to choose to live & fight for the Love of Jesus Christ.
This life is so horrible & empty without God. I just can’t do this anymore. I need to remind myself who i love the most, and that is Jesus Christ , not long boarding, not family, not friends, not clothes, not anything at all. It’s Jesus Christ the source of Love & life, the reason why i’m alive , the reason why i’m free.
i know i’m not alone in this. I know Jesus is with me. I know some of you have been through this, you know how terrible it feels. But i hold on to the love & mercy of Christ, so i’ll persevere & will keep on pressing in. Please pray for me.