Steadfast Mercy
Some people go through it much worse

Man, i really don’t have anything to complain about. My family & i go through some pretty tough trials concerning money, and all that usual stuff. But some Pastor’s family is going through it much worse! 

See here, i know about poverty, and how it feels to not have enough money for the day. But there was never a day where i had to sleep without food on my stomach, or walk home from school because my dad didn’t give me money. It never happened! And when we go through tough challenges, we become so discouraged and couldn’t think of any possible way for us to survive, when in reality we are far more blessed than we thought we are.

But here, there’s this Missionary/Pastor whose church that sent him doesn’t really do a thing to help him at all. And now, there have been way too many times when they would try to squeeze the money so they could have food for a day. And they’re faithful and good to the poor people that they serve, to the church that they minister in. Why does this happen to the faithful ones? Whose hearts are pure with love and intentions to bring these people to Christ? While those pastors, who compromise, and doesn’t even break a sweat sleeps comfortably in their homes? and get to drive a nice car? Why?

But God reminded me of what the Apostle Paul went through, what Jesus went through. How Jesus was persecuted, and how Paul lost so much into bringing the good news to the people, but still counted them nothing compared to the Glory of knowing and loving Christ. He reminded me that this Pastor may not have all the earthly blessings he deserves to have, but he and his family has a wonderful place in the heavens, they are storing up alot of heavenly treasures! That their greatest reward is Jesus Christ!

It amazes me how this family kept faithful. If you happen to read this, will you please pray for the Medina family. They’re really a nice bunch of people. Pray for God’s grace and provision over their lives, the thing that they are doing ain’t easy, and the challenges they face are difficult. But they have their hearts fixed on the wonderful love of Christ. Please lift them up in your prayers. <3 

I think sometimes we tumblr users get an opposite effect. Instead of a quote encouraging us, it discourages us. For example you read this ” You maybe fat, but you are still beautiful.” Instead of feeling beautiful, we tend to realize something like ” Oh i’m fat.” You get what i’m saying? Is it just me realizing all these stuff. But really guys, we sometimes should stop posting about recovering or healing, and post something funny instead. Well that’s just my opinion.
Not everyone would agree, but i think sometimes we’re becoming more emotional over here on tumblr. Whenever i get on tumblr, i see hipster photos, i see cozy rooms, and i read those “It’s gonna be okay” quotes, and i end up thinking “yeah it’s gonna be okay.” when at first everything is really okay. You get what am i saying? Some of us really don’t have some major problems at all, or if we do it becomes bigger because tumblr is a very emotional place.

How terrible my days become when i depart from Your life giving presence? How lonesome my nights are when i do not seek You? Remind me Lord , please remind me that all the life I’ll ever have is really in You.

A lot of times i forget to be grateful for who You are. I’ve been looking for Joy and Satisfaction in so many things my Lord, so many worldly things that i forget that i have all that i need and want in You. You are my all in all, the true love of my life, my true passion and hope is You. 

Dear hiflhsdapofyhoarjlwm

When was the last time i wrote you? That was a pretty long time. How surprising. Lately i’ve been thinking about you, i was praying and hoping you are well. With all the things going on in this world, i pray you cling to hope, i pray you find what you’re looking for. I pray you can meet Jesus & be changed forever.

I will always regret the day i let you slip away without telling you that you need Jesus so badly. I thought i’ve done you enough good throughout our friendship, but the truth is i with held the only truest form of love i can give you, and that is sharing Christ with you. I remember a couple of years ago, when you said you wanted to be born again, and that you are so excited about it, that you actually kind of made the decision but when your parents knew they got mad at you. And that was the last time you ever told me about what’s going on with your faith.

And after that you shut off your mind. It felt like you don’t believe in anything or in anyone anymore, your concern revolved around the girl you so much loved ,video games, beer, and some other stupid things you do.

And ever since you left and we stopped talking i remember crying out to God, i wanted Him to intervene in your life in any way possible. I even prayed that you could come back, or he could restore the friendship we had so that i can talk to you about Jesus. I prayed long & Hard. But we grew further apart each & every single day. Guess i only had one chance and i completely blew it. 

But i know God will make a way for you. Somewhere , someday you’ll find God and He will capture you. 

Praying for you,

Your bestfriend

Dear hiflhsdapofyhoarjlwm

The other day, i missed you so badly i was about to send you a message but something stopped me. It was probably fear, i fear that you no longer care that much & would not even bother to type a single word of response. I fear i might seem like the type of girl who runs after boys. Sometimes i hated myself for having a boy best friend, i wish i had chosen a girl. Girls maybe plastic and such but girls best friend are never awkward with each other. You & I are awkward. And so our friendship fell into a tragic crash. But when i look back at the good times we had , i could not even remember why i’m supposed to regret ever having you as my friend. We were happy and crazy back then. Now we’re weird, awkward, strangers and it’s kinda okay. People come & go, though i wished we stayed a bit longer for each other.

Truth is we all wanted and needed someone to stay. Someone who’ll laugh with you, cry with you, sing with you and even just breathe with you. There are those nights when sadness and pain gets the upper hand and having someone by your side makes you hope that , indeed someday soon, sometime later it will be just alright.

And then so i think of you.

i think of all the people in the world who needs that someone.

And then so i think of everyone who suffers and decided to end it.

If only you and i would stay, someone might have hopes that someday soon, sometime later it will be just alright.

UNFAILING GOD - New life worship

Yesterday i was so discouraged. Talks about college kept on coming up, and i know that i cannot settle for less, i have a dream and no matter what others may say I’ll hold on to it because God gave me the passion to pursue it.  But then yesterday i was really really down, i feel lifeless and empty. I feel like God has left me hanging, it felt like i was fighting on my own. i hated myself for wanting to go after big things, i hated myself for not being contented with the small ones. 

And the sadness went all the way through the night. It was until the moment that i decided to paint and put on my ear phones and just let random music play when i heard this song. It’s been on my mp3 player for quite a bit but i haven’t heard it. 
and then i cried, and then i asked for God’s forgiveness because i doubted His promises , and His plans. It may not make much sense to me or to the people around me but it’s God’s plan and it’s the best.

He is unfailing, His love’s unending, and His word is eternal , Firm in the heaven it stands!!

And i worshiped my God, because no matter where i am He is unfailing, He is working!

You know , for so long i just wanted someone to know me. Like for someone to call me just to check if im alright, cause he/she feels like something might be wrong. You know those kinds of friends? I never really had one.
The One thing

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4

I was reading the bible last night, and as i was reading this particular verse it suddenly hit me. It just hit me, made me feel guilty for ignoring this. For the past days i have spent more time doing mindless pursuits, i was so busy for such small things that aren’t important at all when it comes to just spending time & seeking God.

I was thinking , “Oh what beautiful adoration this is, to want to spend the rest of his days in God’s temple, just gazing at God’s beauty.” And so i thought that this is what most of us christians forget to do. We are all so busy about our own ministries, all busy about preaching & teaching, then we forget that at the end of the day it’s you & God, and your relationship is only between the two of you, and that relationship is far more important than all the other things in this world. Of course Jesus wants us to be at work, Jesus wants us to lay our hands on the sick, he wants us to preach, to do good, to move in his behalf. But He also wants us to stay still, to just go and seek Him, to be alone in his presence, and to shut off all the other distractions, just you & Him. Just me & You.

This must be the One thing that we seek, the One thing that we desire. The driving force that keeps us going, the thought that lingers in our heads, and the prize that we will wait for, just to be with him forever, and gaze at His glory!

What can i say, this is really me. I just want to turn my life all around, and make it interesting. I want to go places, i wanna do extreme sports, i wanna eat something new, i want to feel the sun on my skin, i want to climb a mountain, i wanna run &amp; sweat, i wanna make a fire and warm myself, i wanna go and see new cultures, i wanna love people, i wanna be free and i wanna be me. 
I guess i should stand up and leave tumblr now, if that&#8217;s what i really want. TOO MUCH TUMBLR &amp; INTERNET MAKES ONE&#8217;S LIFE BORING.

What can i say, this is really me. I just want to turn my life all around, and make it interesting. I want to go places, i wanna do extreme sports, i wanna eat something new, i want to feel the sun on my skin, i want to climb a mountain, i wanna run & sweat, i wanna make a fire and warm myself, i wanna go and see new cultures, i wanna love people, i wanna be free and i wanna be me. 

I guess i should stand up and leave tumblr now, if that’s what i really want. TOO MUCH TUMBLR & INTERNET MAKES ONE’S LIFE BORING.

Sunset with a friend…

Sunsets. Don’t you just love them? Well it’s my favorite part of the day. Because sunsets mean a time to be still & stare in awe of beauty, sunsets are warm & cold, sunsets mean the end of hard work and a time for rest. And sunsets are best viewed with a lover or a friend, or with your Mom Or dad…

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I’m beautiful mom and so are you.

Hey mom.

I know you want me to take care of myself, dress nice. put on some make up, lose some weight and all other stuff concerning physical appearance. Thanks for your concern, but mom as of now what i do with my hair,  what i do with my face, and the way i dress is who i am.

This is the way i am comfortable, and i am not going to forsake comfort just to achieve physical beauty. You said you didn’t like my hair mom, and you said i should iron it and all, let it down like most girls do. But shouldn’t i be thanking God for my curls? Shouldn’t i just take care of what He has given me rather than run after what He hasn’t created me to be? It’s not that i’m against physical alterations, it’s good sometimes, but i know that this is a part of my life where i should be letting myself free from all the pressure of this society. If i’m fat then let me be, doesn’t mean i’m ugly if i’m fat. No, it’s not like that. This world has corrupted the minds of this generation, telling them lies saying " you are not beautiful." and i once believed that lie mom, but now i am free. Because there is truth in Jesus Christ, God has created me wonderfully.

I know you said i dress up like an old lady, but mom this is just a phase, and someday i’ll grow out of this. Shouldn’t you just be concerned with what is inside than what is outside? and i don’t even look like an old lady. I can be fashionable in my own way. I have my own style, and i refuse to go for the cutie type of fashion because it’s just not who i am. 

Mom, do you think i’m ugly? do you think i’m old fashioned? do you think i’m fat? Because i don’t think so mom. I’m 17 please don’t pressure me. You said you just want to encourage me to be fashionable and blah blah blah, but it doesn’t encourage me mom, it makes me feel like you think i’m ugly.I apperciate your failed attempt at encouraging mom, but just please let me do what i want to do with my appearance just as long as it’s modest and appropriate. I’d rather be dressing like an old lady than be dressing something that is trendy but reveals so much skin. I know you wouldn’t want that too, right?

Mom, you may not be able to read this. But whoever reads this. My mom is really kind & wonderful, it’s just that this time i have to let this all out. My mom and me looks exactly alike, and she always thinks she’s fat & ugly and she doesnt like the fact that people say i look like her because she thinks she’s not attractive. She couldn’t seem to embrace the truth that she is beautiful. She says she doesn’t want me to be treated the way people treated her because of her appearance. But really mom, can you just please embrace the fact that you are beautiful?

I’m beautiful mom and so are you.