Steadfast Mercy

Beautiful Disaster by Jon Mclaughlin

And every magazine tells her she’s not good enough
The pictures that she sees makes her cry

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She’s just the way she is
But no one’s told her that’s OK

- I remember always listening to this song back in HIgh school whenever i had days when everyone seemed to have conspired against me telling me about how unattractive i am. And they don’t even how huge that affected me. How every single night i wonder why i had to be so ugly. But then i found my beauty in Christ, and He told me that i’m just as beautiful as He created me to be! :)) This song is absolutely beautiful.

Let us not be afraid anymore.

For years i was stranded with the same old style of hair, of clothes, of shoes and of everything else. And in my mind i really want to break free. To just let myself be, to cut my hair and not regret it, to let my thick curls out and still feel pretty, but i wasn’t as brave as i wanted to be.

I grew up afraid of something new when it comes physically. Because people would always have something bad to say regarding my look, and when i found a look that was just simple and didn’t receive a lot of attention i settled for that. No matter how bad it looks sometimes i thought it was better than trying something new and hearing all what other people have to say. At least they are familiar to my ugly look.

My mind wanted the acceptance of everybody, i want them to treat me just like how they treat other girls. But i didn’t get the same treatment anyway. Sometimes i will try to wear something different , like wearing skirt instead of my same old jeans and my friends would just say all these nonsense, and i don’t need that. What’s wrong if i just feel like wearing skirt today? what’s wrong if my hair isn’t as straight and smooth as yours? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR EYES? Why do they always have to search for imperfections?

So today i decided to let myself free, because i’m a woman and i need to be confident because God created me. I need to hear from God and not from people. And as much as i could i will let myself go through the process of changing whether it be physical or spiritual. I know i don’t want to be stuck in this way of living, i know it’s fun to dress up to just be me, i know i am His masterpiece.

So if somebody is out there who feels like this, i tell you you are not alone. Let us not be afraid anymore.