Steadfast Mercy

A lot of times i forget to be grateful for who You are. I’ve been looking for Joy and Satisfaction in so many things my Lord, so many worldly things that i forget that i have all that i need and want in You. You are my all in all, the true love of my life, my true passion and hope is You. 


He put that passion in your heart so that it will Glorify Him!

                I’m now in the most crucial time as I can say. Crucial because it involves a lot of decision making (concerning college) or better say a lot of seeking God for His instructions.

                Last three nights ago, Wednesday service, a young missionary lady prayed for me. Before she started praying for me, I told her about college, and knowing that God wants to take me somewhere else because He will be using me. However as Christians though we already know what God wants us to do we see all the circumstances, we see all the hindrances, and we hear all the discouragements and once we started to dwell on it, we start to ask God “ Oh wait God, did you really want me to do this? Because with all these stuffs you might not want me to” And so yes I wondered, Is it really You God? Or am I making this up?”

                And so back to the first story. So after telling the lady what was going on, what I’ve been going through and what I was about to do, she asked me “ What is your passion?” and without any hesitation the words came out of my mouth “Film-making; I wanna be a film maker or an architect but that’s just second” and after that I felt shy, How can anyone like me become a film maker?

                But the lady smiled and told me that she went through the same point in life where in you gotta decide if you’re saying yes to passion or just let it go. (But my passion is so strong you just can’t put it in a box and ignore it forever). Then so, I also told her how expensive it is to study film in our country, and she began praying. And her prayer was just filled with God, with God promising me that He will take care of it all, that He will be with me fighting all the circumstances, that He will send me and this will bring Him glory. And the lady kept on praying and my! I just started crying with a complete smile on my face. I was crying because I was happy. It WAS like “ FINALLY! After not hearing God for almost a month, here is His beautiful voice , finally” and so I cried and cried, His voice is just beautiful.

                And so “amen”, and the lady said “why are you crying?”

                I said “ I don’t know, I just heard God saying im on the right track, that He is sending me, that He is with me” and I cried and cried again.

                She then told me “ You know what God didn’t put that passion in your heart to confuse you, He didn’t put it in you heart to tease you like, come on you want me but you can’t follow me, God doesn’t want that, He put that passion in your heart so that it will Glorify Him, and God wants you to live your life doing what you love to do, and I tell you to follow your passion no matter how hard, follow it anyway”

                And man, I just can’t stop the tears.

You see here, that night was filled with purpose, I wasn’t really planning to go to church but because of the odd turn of events during that day I went without knowing that the service is still ongoing, i thought it was over.

                And so I need to seek! Keep on seeking! Seeking! And follow! Follow!

Ahhhhhnhhh than You Lord.

p.s.

oh wait, yeah I want to leave you with a question to think about, it was running through my head all the time before going home

“what is passion if its not offered to Glorify God?”

And I felt like, if it wouldn’t be for God, then its nothing at all.

passion

My mom always told me to do what i love to do, and choose a career that i’d love for the rest of my life. Mom i wish that was easy.

I figured out a long time a go that my passion is for music, film, entertainment, photos, writing and everything that is creative and artistic. My passion is where i can put my misbehaved imagination into, my imagination could get wild and i’d be insane if i don’t let it out. Do you get me? Its very important for me to write everything i feel, everything that i am going through and just put out my random thoughts. And if i go for passion sure it would be fun, doing what you love, going out there sing your lungs out, write a book, write songs, capture a moment and at the end of the day you realize: can life get any better than this?

I remember i started writing songs when i was 10 or younger, and when i look back to the songs i wrote my mind goes like ” oh too childish” “what i was emo?” “redundancy”, “overused the word alone and love” but though it doesn’t sound good and pleasing as i thought when i wrote this before, i am happy. I am happy because at my early age i knew how to let out every piece of what i was feeling, and for a moment i didn’t have to lie to myself or deny what i felt because when i write song i make sure that i am being honest. So my passion goes out for music, but i couldn’t go for it,because im not that really good of a singer or a musician, and it would be really hard to make money out of it. And many people like me, couldn’t go for what they love because its not practical, and i know i may sound like my passion is not that enough because i look onto how much money i could make. Its just that the world is changing, every time you think of your passion you begin to think of the risks you’re gonna take. Ans kudos to those people who went out and did what they love to do and keep on doing so. I hope someday soon i’ll be able to find that strength, the strength to put away the inhibitions and all these money issue. And that day could be one of the best days of my life. 

Yesterday we watched Ella enchanted. See here, she was with a curse of obedience, she does what everybody tells her to do, and sometimes because of the curse she is forced to do things she didn’t wan to do. Then she said a line like: No one knows how hard it is to do something that you are forced into, take it from me.(not exactly the right words, just the thought) Right then i realized, how about me? am i the one who’s gonna force myself to do other things rather than what i really love and wanted? 

That left me hanging overnight, that’s why i posted this. One more thing, i hope everyone of us we’ll find the strength to just do what we want and not be slaves of what the world or others want us to do.